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The Bold World: A Memoir of Family and Transformation
Free Ebook The Bold World: A Memoir of Family and Transformation
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Inspired by her transgender son, activist Jodie Patterson explores identity, gender, race, and authenticity to tell the real-life story of a family's history and transformation.Â
One of the Best Books of the Week - USA Today and New York Post
"A courageous and poetic testimony on family and the self, and the learning and unlearning we must do for those we love." (Janet Mock)
As an African American growing up on Manhattan's Upper West Side in the 1970s, when neighborhoods defined people, Jodie Patterson learned early on to engage with her community for strength and comfort. But then in 2009, this mother of five had her world turned upside down. Realizing her definition of community wasn't wide enough for her own child's needs, Patterson forced the world wide open.
In The Bold World, we witness a mother reshaping her attitudes and beliefs, as well as those of her community, to meet the needs of her transgender son, Penelope - and opening the minds of everyone in her family who absolutely, unequivocally refused to conform.
As we walk alongside Patterson on her journey, we meet the Southern women who came before her - the mother, grandmothers, and aunts who raised and fortified her, all the while challenging cultural norms and gender expectations. She shares her family's history - particularly incidents within the black community around sexism, racism, and civil rights. We learn about her children, who act as a vehicle for Jodie Patterson's own growth and acceptance of her diverse family, and her experiences as a wife, mother, and eventually, activist. The result is an intimate portrait and an exquisite study in identity, courage, and love. Patterson's relentless drive to change the world will resonate with and inspire us all, reflecting our own individual strength and tenacity, our very real fears, and most of all, our singular ability to transform despite the odds.
Praise for The Bold World
"In The Bold World, Jodie Patterson makes a case for respecting everyone's gender identity by way of showing how she came to accept her son, Penelope. In tying that struggle to the struggle for race rights in this country during her own childhood, she paints a vivid picture of the permanent work of social justice." (Andrew Solomon, best-selling author of The Noonday Demon and Far from the Tree)
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Audible Audiobook
Listening Length: 10 hours and 7 minutes
Program Type: Audiobook
Version: Unabridged
Publisher: Random House Audio
Audible.com Release Date: January 29, 2019
Whispersync for Voice: Ready
Language: English, English
ASIN: B07LH9TV1P
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
I read this book straight through!! Something in this for everyone.
An actual account from an actual great person in a bad bad world.
The info on trans kids. Less on the families history. But, it was an interesting view point, to see it from the parents perspective.
Necessary reading for parents, educators, anyone doing the radical work of love.
I started reading this book expecting something a little different. Actually, I don’t really know what I was expecting to be honest. I was interested in learning more about parenting a transgender child and honestly thought the book would be mainly about that. But The Bold World is a lot more than that, it’s a deeply honest, beautiful, and heartfelt memoir of life, learning, challenges, and love.Yes, The Bold World is about navigating the discovery that your three year old, Penelope, knows he is a boy rather than the girl that society decided he was at birth. But that is just part of the story, because the main narrative is how Jodie Patterson got to that point in her life, and where she and her family have moved to since then. It is a memoir of growing up as a black girl in a somewhat traditional family setting, with parents who made sure her and her sister had a wide and varied knowledge of who they were and where they came from, but where gender-specific values were clearly defined. It is a memoir of self-discovery, of climbing mountains and barreling through challenges, of growing up, and of being human.For some reason I was surprised at just how much I related to Jodie’s narrative, and how moved I am by this book. I often see my life as a jigsaw puzzle where I am constantly trying to make pieces fit while running on a treadmill backwards with my little humans pulling me in all directions. Obviously my children are not Jodie’s children, but I have a similar personality and mindset to hers’ and related to so much of what she says. We have similar parenting styles too, which made me smile a lot while reading. I admire how honest she is in her book about her life, her thoughts, her relationships, her parents, her children... I feel like a lot of it must have been difficult to write. And her honesty is an inspiration to all of us to be more forgiving of ourselves but also more open to seeing the world differently.The other day my three year old said to me “I’m not a boy I’m not a girl I’m just RORA!!†- What else could I say but “yep you are Rora� It’s up to us to let go with the rigid gender assignments and just accept that strict boxes are not the direction this world needs to be going in. I didn’t grow up in a very traditional household at all, but those rigid gender boxes still take a hold on us, and I really appreciated seeing how Jodie navigated through her choppy waters and how her family came together as one to grow stronger together.The Bold World is also beautifully written: Jodie brings you into her family as if you are part of it, and I honestly feel like we are good friends now (I wish?!). I think many people will appreciate her insight, warmth, and honesty. I’m so glad I picked this one up, as once I started it I couldn’t put it down!
I got an ARC of this book.I went into this book with a bit of apprehension because of the name Penelope being used and then the book being about a trans person, but not by the trans person. I was blown out of the water though. This book is so much more than I ever expected and addressed my issues and then some. So If you were on the fence about this book, let me convince you you need to read it as soon as you can get a copy.First, Penelope is the name that Penelope wants. At no point has this wonderful young person asked for a different name. Patterson makes it more than clear that the family would do everything they could to support him. There was even a wonderful section about passing and what that means to a black person. That was an insight that is often not brought up when passing is brought up in trans spaces. Instead there is the fight over if passing makes you more or less trans, if passing should be something anyone aims for, and then the ever present judgement of levels of passing. I am pretty sick of the infighting when it comes to the idea of passing, Patterson puts some of my ideas into words that are much more poetic than I could have managed on my own. We need to let people live their lives the way they want to. Penelope keeping his name does no one else harm. If you can’t get behind someone having the strength, courage, and determination to live their truth, then please walk away. Your negativity is not helpful and attacking someone you don’t agree with will not change their mind or their soul. Learn to express love and strength. Learn to speak up for yourself. Learn to support others.Second, this book really is really more about Patterson and how gender has shaped her life. The book does feature her trans son and her other children. While the book seems to be more marketed as a memoir of a trans parent. It comes across more of a memoir of a strong woman coming to terms with gender itself. She was confronted with very strict gender roles and expectations as a child. The way her parents interacted, the way she was allowed to exist was so deeply trenched in gender roles and gender norms. Something that didn’t seem to really be on her radar at the time, though she had some thoughts and some ideas. The more that Patterson examines her own idea of how gender has impacted her life, the more support and love she seems to be able to have for all of her family. She learns through supporting her children that her husband needed more time to process things. That she had to be willing to listen to opinions of people, even when they weren’t as caught up to things as she was. I am beyond in love with this book.Patterson talks about the intersection of race and gender, specifically being black and being female. This is heavily examined throughout the book. I was all for it. There was so much I wanted to ask, so much I wanted to learn. I am thankful that Patterson wrote this book and gave an insight into her life. Near the end of the book, Patterson even starts to analyze what it means to be black and trans. That was something that is often missing in trans discourse. A great deal of the research is done on white people. The great deal of the dialogue that is easily accessible is by white people. This is changing to be more representative of the real world, Patterson offers one explanation at why this change is taking longer than a great deal of us want. It is not the only explanation and like a lot of Patterson’s explanations, there is room for more and other explanations to play together and compliment her ideas. It makes sense that variant genders and expressions are hidden away by a group that is often over scrutinized and attacked for any form a deviance (even when that deviance is just literally existing) by outside groups.Patterson is awe inspiring. She is strong. She is powerful. She is intelligent. She is flawed. She is human. She is exactly the sort of person that I dreamed I would have as a mother. She supports and loves her kids. She does this with a level of intensity that I just can’t imagine. So many of my trans friends have lost their families and have been abandoned. Seeing a mother that is so deeply there for her child made me cry more than once while reading this book. Patterson is a hero in my eyes. She has gone above and beyond to help all of her children and is willing to own up to her mistakes. She works hard to better herself and better the world for everyone. I am only slightly joking when I say that if Patterson offered to adopt me, I would say yes without a second thought.This book is deep, it is moving. It is exactly what I needed. I needed to see that the world is changing for the better for trans kids. That my experiences are becoming less and less common. That there are kids out there that will not be fighting tooth and nail just to stay alive, despite being trans. Instead they will be living and thriving while being trans. It is such a remarkable difference and one that I am truly blessed to see happening in my life time. I am tearing up again, just thinking about how much good Patterson has done in such a short time of being an ally to her son. I wish her and her family the best. I hope they continue to do amazing things in the world and I am thankful for the things they have already accomplished.
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